1002 – Squirrel Be Gone

906 Cdo/216 lbs/96 Core

So my “lab” partner was not in today. Our little corner of the world (haha) enjoyed a rather stress free day. It is so easy to be mean about her. She’s a neurotic mess, pathetic, but with a little mean streak of her own. The thing is, I recognize so much of what she’s doing. She’s desperate to be part of things, but has no clue how to go about it. And she’s awkward. And annoying. She listens in on conversations, waiting for an opening so she can jump in, but she doesn’t really listen, so her comments are always way off the mark. And then people begin to clam up around her, just to avoid hearing her inane interruptions.

I recognize her because I’ve been like her. I may not have been the whirlwind of neurosis that she is; thank god for the tempering presence of depression! Lends a little gravitas, ya know? I will say, I’ve never seen anyone so lacking in self-awareness. I do try, to be kinder, at least until she says something so stupid or mean spirited that I need to not engage. You have to be careful with the squirrels, they’re always ready to bite.

1001 – Flip Flop Weather

406 Cdo/217 lbs/96 Core

Early summer warmth! What a nice way to start the week. And then . .

Actually, there’s no “and then”. Sometime this weekend a broke a tooth, one that was on the red alert list. My dentist could fit me in, so that’s what I did today. Had a tooth ground down and a temp crown installed. So much Novocain my hands were literally shaking. But, a job well done by the doc and not nearly the pounding I took when we crowned the opposite tooth a couple of years ago. So, I chilled a few hours, did some laundry and here we are.

1000 – ! Perfect

406 Cdo/216 lbs/96 Core

Another Sunday evening down at the beach. Great friends, beautiful view, scrumptious food. A perfect way to end/begin the week. Here is something that I do forget to be thankful for. My crazy, haphazard life has brought me to this place with the best and kindest people spending time at the perfect beach cottage. And the jolliest, funniest dog ever. We all love the Kaleykins.

I’m ready to start my week.

999 – Sleepy Time

404 Cdo/216 lbs/95 Core

I was told ( made) to count my blessings today :) and one that I did not even think of was that I now look forward to going to bed. And the possibility of waking up truly refreshed. As you know, I’ve spent months (years) trying to improve my sleep habits and the only thing that has worked has been to work on being in bed at nine. I don’t often make it, but my body has made the shift. Nine is when we should be heading to bed. Like the lottery, you can’t sleep if you don’t lay down. G’nite!

998 – Nothing Clever

403 Cdo/116 lbs/94 Core

Yes, I have nothing clever or reasoned to write. It’s been a tough for me, thanks in part to my refusal to accept, until yesterday, that I’m not handling the work transition. And, it’s making school just about impossible. Right now, it holds no interest for me when this major event is plowing through. For my department in particular, it will be like starting at a new job, even though we’re in the exact same place.

But, I don’t want to linger over the unfairness. It is what it is. And what it is, is not easy.

997 – big stress

403 Cdo/217 lbs/94 Core

Okay, I admit it. Beneath my calm exterior I am very, very stressed. I don’t know what my job will pay, I’m surrounded by a lot of very upset people. It’s them. If they’d just shut their pieholes!

We’re going to be evaluated soon. All the other departments have had their job offers, about which many are enraged, but we are in limbo until the end of the month.