1126 – The Color of Yellow Curry!

444 Cdo/220 lbs/97 Core

I have got some kind of intestinal bug. Not stomach. My tum-tum is almost normal, but the grumbling below the belt is extensive and continual. And my “downloading”? See above. It is always something with me, isn’t it?

The distance between where I am and where I want to is so big, Where I Want to Be feels like a daydream. But, one of the coping skills I have developed over the last ten years or so of my chronic depression is to act “as if”. That is why I kept going to the doctor, to the dentist, getting mammograms, quitting smoking – I had to act as if I was going to live though it. So now, with a lower level of depression, I’m acting as if the electricity will return – that surge of optimism and energy that preceded the Chotididi Project. And it will be the way life should be.

1125 – Setting the Bar Low!

444 Cdo/221 lbs/97 Core

I know. But I get so excited for myself when I do things like pick up a prescription before it runs out, laundry, emptying the dishwasher, changing my sheets, etc. it is a constant battle to just keep moving and I spend much of my day wanting to sleep. But I don’t. I show out to work showered and coherently dressed, and I do a great job while I’m there.

And, I try not to sweat this mal-lingering malaise. And, I do have some success. I’ve dropped wine from the dinner menu and I’ve mostly stopped eating crap.

I have lots of things I need to do, but the biggest challenge is to keep a positive frame of mind. I think it’ slime to Bangra!

1122 – Idiocy!

444 Cdo/220 lbs/97 Core

There are times when I am the smartest person in the room. Unfortunately, I often share the same space and time with the stupidest person in the room. Even scarier, sometimes we’re the only person in the room. This is my way of saying, bad food choices were made and it shows – like immediately – on the scale.

So better choices today. Gym tomorrow.