Posted by: europatrizia | 30 October 2014

1062 – Yoga 5

447 Cdo/220 lbs/97 Core

So, more yoga, more breakfast. Gym, laundry? Not just yet, so tomorrow is a down and dirty day.

I’m still working on the sleep. I have an app that produces sound waves to help induce sleep. Unfortunately, I want to feel it happening, but I’ll get over it. I definitely get very relaxed and my mind quiets.


Posted by: europatrizia | 29 October 2014

1061 – Yoga 4

446 Cdo/220 lbs/97 Core

I am working the bedtime and the wake up time and so far it’s going well. I had time to make breakfast this morning (though not to finish my coffee!). And even just this small change over this short timespan is having an effect. I’m feeling more energetic and more focused at work. I really am back to the beginning of it all.

Oh. The yoga count? That’s just for a little while, to help me stay aware.

Posted by: europatrizia | 28 October 2014

1060 – Yoga 3

446 Cdo/221 lbs/97 Core

Rebuilding my backbone by stretching my spine. It does feel better to start the day that way. Pushing back my alarm to 5, increases the drowse, decreases the time stress.

Still two gym dates to fulfill this week.

Posted by: europatrizia | 27 October 2014

1059 – Yoga 2

447 Cdo/222 lbs/97 Core

So, did go to bed early. And woke up at 2:20. But I did get back to sleep. And got in yoga. Oh my poor unstretched body! Every muscle wants to do yoga for hours. Have to close. Bed time.

Posted by: europatrizia | 26 October 2014

1058 – One

447 Cdo/222 lbs/97 Core

One hour, one day. You gotta start somewhere. And when you fall short, you’ve gotta start again. And again. And again. So that’s what I’m doing until I get it right. And I will get it right. That’s the kind of person I want to be.

Posted by: europatrizia | 25 October 2014

1057 – Two Lives

446 Cdo/222 lbs/97 Core

I’m way early today, but now’s the time when I have something to write.

I’m leading two lives. In my head, I’m planning a chic wardrobe, French influenced of course. And I can wear heels. And I joyously awake in the morning – in a sophisticated and well-appointed bedroom. My chic wardrobe in its proper place. I do my yoga and Pilates – in a chic, spare great room, with a charming galley kitchen. I shower – in an adorable, clean bathroom – in a luxurious, tiled shower. (If the bathtub don’t fit, ditch it!). Eat a healthy breakfast and head to work. (This week in a 2008 Saturn Aura with low mileage. It’s lovely.). At work, my colleagues and I pursue fraud like bloodhounds. We’re generously rewarded for our hard work. After work, I hit the gym for some me time and then head home for a quick shower and a light supper before hitting the books/Internet for my law class. (Oh, and I’m wearing just the right amount of makeup.)

In reality, I have to drag myself out of bed. I’m tired all the time. There is no chic wardrobe because I’m poor and fat. My bedroom is a complete mess; I’m surrounded by my wardrobe because I treat it as badly as I feel about it. I take a quick shower in my grotty, too small bathtub. Head to work in the wreckmobile, where every day, I discover one more person who is just skating by (and making more than me) while I push myself to do everything I can. I drive home with tired eyes, tired brain, tired. Skip the gym, because I’m tired. Eat something. Check email, Facebook, Twitter, look at my auto love of the week – which is a steal, but I can’t even finance a steal – and eventually retreat into my chic life, which feels so far away that I’ll never reach it in real life.

Posted by: europatrizia | 24 October 2014

1056 – Boot Camp

446 Cdo/221 lbs/97 Core

Seriously. I need to go to a boot camp where all I do is get up and do what someone tells me to do. I already don’t want to go to the gym tomorrow. I have to break this couch cycle. I am so weak.

Posted by: europatrizia | 23 October 2014

1055 – Yoga!

446 Cdo/222 lbs/97 Core

If nothing else, I got my yoga done this morning.

Sigh. I’m putting in too much time at work in the hopes it will pay off in a raise, a bonus. Something! But it’s tiring, 8-9 hours glued to the monitor, thinking, thinking, thinking and poring over the docs. And trying to keep an eye out for patterns that might betray a bigger picture.

Posted by: europatrizia | 22 October 2014

1054 – Wednesday

446 Cdo/220 lbs/97 Core

Different day, same old-same same old. But I am getting up earlier.

Any port in the storm.

Posted by: europatrizia | 21 October 2014

1053 – Waaaay Early!

446 Cdo/221 lbs/97 Core

Blogging now so I can hit the Posture Pedic sooner. And now I can’t think of anything to write. Yup. I’m a blank. Oh! Oops. Can’t blog about some things about work. And no, it’s not about the CTC, it’s about results. And I can’t explain.

Good night!

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