Posted by: europatrizia | 31 January 2015

1072 – Day One, A Different Day

I’ve slid so far back. The best way to quantify it is to say “30 pounds”. Coach is right – sort of – I’ve undone, physically, all I had achieved.

Coach is also right about another thing. I have to find something I have a passion for. Lately, Dylan’s song, “ServeSomebody” has been echoing in my brain. I don’t take it religiously, more that I need to connect. That I must connect with things, people that aren’t me.

So. An update. My dirty-flirty nearly erupted. For me at least. AND, I received my first dick pics! Yikes! But, he runs true to form. Flirtation from afar. And fear not! My pics are all on FB, sunsets, flowers beaches. And. I’m done. In a very good way. I was ready to go. Fuck buddies. Roommates with benefits. But DF is all talk ( and pics) and no trousers (action).

This is my takeaway. My sexuality, sexual energy, is far from dead. My willingness to have an adventure, take a chance, also has a pulse. But, big butt, is my willingness to accept bullshit. Done. Over. Bullshit detector intact. I offered DF honesty and openness. And sex. He is all about the game. For whatever reasons he has; I don’t feel compelled to figure that out. Not my problem.

And so. Now what? Well. I haven’t suddenly found my “something/someone” to serve. Instead, I’m making lists. Of what I want my life to be. What I want to do, to wear, to see, to experience. This may sound weird. I want to sew. Really well. Like I want to design my own bras. And travel.

And I like being a research analyst. The analyzing, the pulling data together. I like being good at something.

And I’m tired of being fat.

Posted by: europatrizia | 22 December 2014

1071 – Not Today

451 Cdo/224 lbs/97 Core

Lots of weird stuff at work today ending up with a paid day off on Fridays. Yay. Good news. Plus I have so much time banked that I will be leaving early on Wednesday.

Anyhoo, I’ve had a weird blow- up case and ended up leaving very late. Then I had an errand. Long story short – no gym.

Posted by: europatrizia | 21 December 2014

1070 – Testing, Testing

451 Cdo/223 lbs/97 Core

So, I’ve gotten a toe back in at the gym. For the full hour. At a good speed, but obviously it’s going to take time to build back up. My feet were burning a bit afterwards, so no gym today. I’m not going to let a blister develop.

I registered for my next course, cooked some chicken. The basics. Getting back on board with the basics.

Posted by: europatrizia | 7 November 2014

1069 – Review

450 Cdo/220 lbs/97 Core

Very good review, good talk with my team leader. And towards the end my flu shot kicked in. Whoops. But it was good to end the week on a positive note. I got reinforcement over my job performance and the direction I’m moving in. And there is a raise coming. Finally.

Posted by: europatrizia | 6 November 2014

1068 – Faint Hope

450 Cdo/220 lbs/97 Core

Once again we had a meeting with a corporate wonk to define our status. Long story short, in a roundabout way our manager was told in no uncertain terms that her administration of exempt employees is dead wrong. It was fun. And she had the temerity to thank the wonk for clarifying because it hadn’t been presented clearly. Right.

Posted by: europatrizia | 5 November 2014

1067 – What an Asshole

450 Cdo/220 lbs/97 Core

Oh, that Coach.

In the meantime, I had great energy at the gym.

And now. I’m late to bed.

Posted by: europatrizia | 4 November 2014

1066 – Still Blank

449 Cdo/222 Cdo/97 Core

Yup. I got nothing. My brain is not processing outside of work right now.

Posted by: europatrizia | 2 November 2014

1065 – I Got Nothin’

449 Cdo/221 lbs/97 Core

Cold. Windy. Sunday.

Posted by: europatrizia | 1 November 2014

1064 – November Rain

449 Gym/219 lbs/97 Core

What a great day to sit around and read. After you go to the gym. Holla!

Posted by: europatrizia | 31 October 2014

1063 – Yoga 6

448 Cdo/220 lbs/97 Core

Thank god for Coach. It was like a scene from Ferris Bueller, only I was, like, “He’s gonna keep texting. And texting . . . I’ll go. I’ll go; I’ll go; I’ll go.

So, after saying I wasn’t going to participate in Halloween-at-work, I’ll pulled a 180 and went all in. I realized it was a chance to have some fun; and I should have more fun. So I did. I had fun today.

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