Posted by: europatrizia | 23 October 2014

1056 – Yoga!

467 Cdo/222 lbs/97 Core

If nothing else, I got my yoga done this morning.

Sigh. I’m putting in too much time at work in the hopes it will pay off in a raise, a bonus. Something! But it’s tiring, 8-9 hours glued to the monitor, thinking, thinking, thinking and poring over the docs. And trying to keep an eye out for patterns that might betray a bigger picture.

Posted by: europatrizia | 22 October 2014

1054 – Wednesday

446 Cdo/220 lbs/97 Core

Different day, same old-same same old. But I am getting up earlier.

Any port in the storm.

Posted by: europatrizia | 21 October 2014

1053 – Waaaay Early!

446 Cdo/221 lbs/97 Core

Blogging now so I can hit the Posture Pedic sooner. And now I can’t think of anything to write. Yup. I’m a blank. Oh! Oops. Can’t blog about some things about work. And no, it’s not about the CTC, it’s about results. And I can’t explain.

Good night!

Posted by: europatrizia | 20 October 2014

1052 – Bed!

446 Cdo/220 lbs/97 Core

Well, I’ve almost got “Stocking for Success”, I’ve got to work on Sunday Shapes Success. Yes, Sunday got away from me, and now so has Monday. And I have to go to bed.

Posted by: europatrizia | 18 October 2014

1051 – Turning the Barge Around

446 Cdo/221 lbs/97 Core

I did do a little bit of thinking today, and here’s what I’ve come up with:

This past year has been like being on a barge heading towards a waterfall, a slow but sure progress in a direction I really didn’t want to be headed in. Even though I knew I was going somewhere promising an absolutely horrible outcome. Maybe I let the boat go along with the current because it’s easier to sit out on the deck with a cocktail, watching the world drift by, but there are other factors.

I not quite sure how to work the pain and hopelessness part of the journey into the whole barge metaphor, but maybe it’s this: The barge is a little rickety, a bit of a fixer-upper, so that while it’s drifting downstream towards that waterfall, I focus on the rickety. Maybe I’m constantly heading below because I think a leak may have sprung, or the load has shifted and the barge is about to tip into the water. I become very focused about keeping an even keel and lose sight of where I’m going. And then I’m so exhausted I spend more and more time recuperating up on deck, letting the barge keep drifting with the current.

I feel like I have broken out of my stupor and I’m turning the barge around, but It’s a heavy, slow moving vessel now moving against the current. I can try to push the barge, or I can refashion it – maybe first into rowboat, then a canoe and finally into a slick little kyack. You know, something fun and zippy, light and mobile. That sounds pretty good to me.

Posted by: europatrizia | 17 October 2014

1050 – Waiting for the Chill

446 Cdo/220 lbs/97 Core

We’ve had a creep-back of summer and I am not liking it. Warm and humid is not good sleeping weather. I’ve been tired but not sleepy all week. Until I have to get up, of course. Later.

Posted by: europatrizia | 16 October 2014

1049 – Farewell 57!

446 Cdo/221 lbs/97 Core

Goodbye to an ugly, ugly year. I’m blessed to be in my job, with a great teammate in a hilarious corner of the room. And I just keep improving at my work. Very rewarding.

Nonetheless, it has also been a miserable year. I can’t begin to describe how awful I have felt for months at a time. This is the year I really came to terms with getting older. And there’s been lots of internal howling and gnashing of teeth. The saying is true, getting older is not for sissies. And, I’ve learned I’m not a sissy.

Posted by: europatrizia | 15 October 2014

1048 – Test Drive!

446 Cdo/222 lbs/97 Core

A long, long day. I’ve been pushing my alarm back and getting up earlier and ended up working past 5:30. So I went to test drive a little convertible. Wish I loved it as much as I love the idea of it. The engine/exhaust? sounded a little loud and rumbly and the pick-up was unimpressive. I was hoping for a peppy little joyride – but, it was cute.

Posted by: europatrizia | 14 October 2014

1047 – Stocked for Success!

446 Cdo/222 lbs/97 Core

And Stocked (and stoked) for success! I’ve got my skillet, my chicken, my veggies, my snacks. My tiffin. My gym gear. My bed time.

Will continue the search for my discipline.

Posted by: europatrizia | 13 October 2014

1046 – Oppositeland!

446 Cdo/221 lbs/97 Core

I know what I need to do. Then I do the opposite. Is this the pause before the leap, or am I standing still?

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